My First Love Ends

Who would’ve thought my first breakup would end with “I love you” and a kiss goodbye?
He’s so beautiful… He deserves the world and even if I will not be a close part of it…
I’ll still be there and he’ll be there too.

We’re best friends…

I can force out these feelings like I’ve done before.
But not feelings this deep, I couldn’t even look at him because every time I did I started crying.

I keep forgetting how much I love him. I thought love would be a constant feeling but it’s not always there it’s deep within you and it comes forward in waves.

Like when I look into his eyes…

I’ve learned a lot about love. I’ve learned a lot about a lot of things and I’m so grateful.
He’s so beautiful… inside and out. We’ve been through shit, I’ve seen him at his worst.
But it never scared me away.

But I respect him too. So I won’t hold on to something he doesn’t have the strength to carry.

It is hurting him too, but I’m kind of proud that he has come this far. He’ll get better and he’ll find his way.

I’ll find mine too. Alone.

A relationship was nice, but somehow I feel like I’ll never try to get into one again. It’s boundaries and it’s settling and I want to fly and travel.

I’ll be your best friend forever. Because that is what I do best in life. I’m loyal to you as a friend and I’ll always be there.

Even when you find someone new. I’ll be proud of you and I’ll support you.

Because you deserve the whole world.

And I’ll watch you rise up.

Hopefully… I will rise up too.

Love

It’s burying a smile
in your pillowcase.
It’s rolling to the other side
because of the tickling feeling.
It’s singing your heart out to love songs,
because now you understand.
It’s the feeling of standing in the sun’s light,
even if it’s raining.
It’s the relief of frustration washing away,
and feeling at ease.
It’s the urge to hold on, to give in,
to let it out.
It’s fighting for it and crying over it,
but not letting go.
It’s the joy of knowing
that you’ll see them soon.
It’s the wanting, the passion and the lust,
running through your veins at one touch
It’s finding yourself watching them talk,
and them asking you what you’re looking at.
It’s the warmth in your heart,
just at the thought of them.
It’s holding hands under any sky,
and feeling at home.
It’s love.